Monday, 23 September 2013

toxic

I am so frickin' unhappy.




so my question is:
        do i have the nerve,strength,fortitude,energy,passion,money and personal belief to change my life?


I am working on getting rid of my headaches. I have waited 5 months to see a (quite) elderly (though i swear he doesn't look a day over 50) traditional Chinese acupuncture doctor. He is also a qualified medical doctor and a physiatrist as well as skilled at acupuncture.  He tilted his head sideways and asks softly,so softly, "why are you so sad?"

no kidding! years of living with undiagnosed scoliosis and adding 5 herniated discs in scattered cervical and lumbar areas has wreaked havoc with my spine and thus my health.  As we know the hip bone is connected to the leg bone which is connected to the.....  well, with me-the brain! Thus headaches daily for over a year and never-ending hot-wire nerve pain in my arm.

I have no idea if this will work, but acupuncture has helped me before and this fellow is particularly skilled.

If he can ease the pain and  then I can, oh!  sleep at night, to sleep every night. To sleep all night. To wake refreshed and happy and not be scared a wrong move will bring evil spasms across the back of my neck and down my arm or up the back of my head and circle into my eye.

I will hope and believe and trust. If this helps and I can sleep then I will have the ability to make some critical life decisions.
Also,in 2 weeks I also have a referral to a pain clinic. Not sure about that. BUT It is covered by my health care and right now I am paying 80$ a visit for the acupuncture. I have allowed for 6 visits,then finito!  

Pup and i had a grand day. The weather is perfect, Very warm for nearing end of September (T-shirts) but by 6:30pm the hoodie goes back on and the gets zipped up. Apparently it will drop to almost 0C tonight so frost is a real risk. I will spend all day, every day for rest of the week- outside.

...now if the boy would only stop counter surfing he would be perfect.      grrrr      :)
I unfortunately haven't been doing enough training this summer, my fault, i hope to get back on track soon.   I have taken tons of photos of him and walks we have taken but  I not yet learned how to use this new Mac.......
that's the problem with daily pain, goals get washed out with exhaustion.

I'm sorry, what a rant.                    

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