Thursday, 16 May 2013

oh hell.....

So maybe I'm not as resilient as I thought.

After a successful very good day of travelling with pup and visiting my eldest, coming home was a bomb.

Not even a chance to walk in the door and "HIS"  miserable negativity scalded my beautiful day.
again i found myself blotting tears while in the bathroom.

pup followed me and jumped up to give me "Mr. Licky Face" kisses once he saw or sensed my disappointments.    sweet boy

I have followed my own advice and turned away.       took a deep breathe.   kept my pride and didn't say anything I would regret.    kept positive.    I did ask what was wrong-was his dad OK? (yes)     he grilled me on the visit and why i didn't ask son a lot of personal questions about who and where the son goes and what he is doing for a social life (didn't like the answer that son looked GREAT and relaxed & no i don't ask a lot of questions as i wait for him to share). This spouse of mine must be a time bomb of pent up angst.(really don't want to say ANGER)
I wiggled out of him that he is annoyed (should be ANNOYED) that the "other son" didn't see the father today-not surprising at all. Yesterday he dropped his dad off at his home- with no prescription filled NOR any food. Again- same old, same old.  why be annoyed?  Now the dad will be alone till we (if we go away)  get back next Thursday.  Not sure if i want to go away now.  Sadly this is just the beginning of the long slow elder decline.My father in law has had great independence and fairly good health.  But "stuff" changes and this can take years.  been there-done that. Can not do it again without superb support and agreement and effort from these two brothers-who are NOT brothers.  No love lost.
My husband CARES A LOT and sometimes over- cares and then gets angry when others don't have the same intensity that he does.
That is his problem.


Today  when pup and i traveled the hour to see son#1 traffic was actually fairly light for the pre-start (new name!) of the summer's (though yes, it is still spring) first loooooooooooooong weekend.

and oh what a fuss.

Pup and I found a new field out of town to take a  break and stretch our legs.
We visited an equestrian store (what great smells!)   and bought a few new treats at a pet store. yum!
He is the best car traveler ever and deserves a gold medal.

No photos from today but i need to get well enough organized to post yesterdays photos & will plan to
do that tomorrow

ah, bath and bed for me now.   perchance to dream..............?                of beautiful things?


the boy has grown-now 37 pounds- will I always love puppies and must remember their sweetness


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