Wednesday, 4 January 2012

when is a brother not a brother.....?, not my brother, I am an only.

My father-in-law had a companion, a lady friend a travel companion, a going-to-the-cottage-companion for 22 years, she passed away New Year's Day. There was funeral visitation this evening. My husband has seen his brother only once in 15 years during a family emergency. My sons last saw their "uncle" at a Christmas Eve meal in 1997 and they sure don't remember him. He doesn't like kids, is pretty intolerant of women  and likely drinks too much.
We met tonight for 30 seconds in the lane beside the funeral home. Hands were shaken. Respectful greetings were offered.
and that was enough.
The brothers sat in different areas of the visitation area. We have learned that is best to
avoid him as the put-downs, manipulating and patronizing manner cause long-lasting angst in my husband. It has been like this forever and we decided after years of high emotional response/reaction and frustration that it was best to be contact free.
We still feel that way.

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