Wednesday, 26 October 2011

this post about more than dogs

I chose the name betterweatherahead not knowing how much it would mean to me.

We are an average family with mostly average problems.
Sleepless nights when our kids were small. Budgetingmoney.
Manners. Love. Kindness. Sharing.
Swimming. Skating. Rugby.  Being outdoors.  Snowmen.
Eating well(fruits & vegetables). A summer vacation every couple of years.
Choosing a good summer camp ( a basic camp & lots of fun).

It's all changed.             My hEarT
HEART  (but it feels like how i spelled i the first time-hEarT)     is

shattered.  i feel it.

One of my children has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.   BPD

We can't talk about it to anyone.
everything we read points directly at abusive parenting.   physical.   emotional.  sexual.
anyone we tell....................will look at us.................and blame.  How could they not?
That's what the books and the web say.
sure there were arguments. some screaming. doors slammed. encouragment or was it pushing to do good in school?  what did we do wrong?

what             how               where it changed, I'm not sure.
we have a photo in black and white that was done in grade 8 by  professional photographer.
I have often looked at the eyes of my son in that photo over the l0 years.
it worried me. it still does.

His life is at risk. About 10% of people with this disorder commit suicide.

I can hardly breathe.

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