Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Saturday, 17 January 2015

keeping life simple with photos

on the beach.  sand in mouth1

The black and the brindle.  tired after a long outing at the waterfront.

from last fall. 

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

various photos.

last week, in the rain

Mackeral sky in the summer, weather was changing

loving the drops of water on the fence.

July, pup in a field of wild Thyme

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

It finally happened.

I will not go into the sad and overwhelming details. But (always a BUT) I firmly say it is now time for me to have some luck.  just a little?

Almost 3 weeks ago my 96 year old mum,who as I describe her now, as someone who would live forever,died.
Just like that. In 5 days she became weaker, indicated she was ready and also ready to see my dad.
Perhaps ready to see her 1st love who was killed on D day.  I have the telegram telling her of this death.  Now THAT is sad.

I was with mum. I hope I made up for all the angst I gave her.  The last 5 nights I sat with her until the early hours. I helped wash her, turn her, moisten her lips. made sure she had pain relief and I gently talked her into a calmness.  I was right there when she took that final deep breath, that gasp of finality.
I finally did it right.      

My mum was a strong,proud,independent woman who lived 96 years strong. I suppose I have a lot of unresolved issues.   Perhaps it is best to leave them buried with her. I will try to do just that.

My sons and I flew to her hometown province and met with wonderful supportive extended family. Most I assume I will not see until there is another death.
This death also allowed my sons and I to have 3 days together.  We walked on a beach with socks and shoes off and pant legs pulled up.
We chatted.  They saw family they haven't seen in years. It was good.

I received a hot, all enveloping, strong, felt like it was never ending hug from an old boyfriend. It was just as warm and comforting as it was many years ago. Some things are forever remembered eh?
He, I just know has had me in his thoughts over the last 40 years. So clearly I hear him say "you look just like you did years ago", "you haven't changed a bit"
well damn, that comment did my heart good.    such satisfaction that he saw me as 18 again.  sweet.

Pups and I are enjoying this fantastic fall weather.  Perfect colours and now today so warm. I even wore sandals.
Tomorrow pup turns 2 years old!  Hard to believe, as the time slipped by unnoticed.

I have started a course in Mindfull Meditation for Pain. It is 13 weeks in length and the cost is completely government  covered.  I just need to practise daily mediation more. I know it will help, My excuse is mum's death and this darn huge dental abcess I have been battling  for the last 3 weeks.
Time to decide on either Sx or pull the damn thing. It is a root canal tooth and the infection has spread into the bone, so I guess I better get a plan into action in the next 24 hours,


I have other serious pains.   but I will not focus on them. I am going to enjoy the end of a perfect fall season.

God speed mum.